Shut Down Mode

It's been over a year since my last post.  I started this blog because I love to write and share about the things that make me happy and to have a place where friends and family can be a part of that. 2013 was a rough year and I truly didn't think that anything I had to say would be positive, so I just didn't say ANYTHING!  Looking back,  I realize that there were a lot of good things, I just focused on the bad.  I realized that I had a pity party for myself and missed so many great opportunities to share what was "right" in 2013. Life can be hard sometimes and life events can trigger emotions that send a person into a tail spin without fully knowing what the hell is going on. Especially when your in the fog of it all!! I'm happy to say that the fog has lifted and I can actually see the beautiful blue sky once again.  I have energy, motivation, presence of mind and a new appreciation for life and all that it can be. My spiritual life took a back seat and I know that God's grace was extended to me even when I turned my back on HIM!  Thank you God for allowing me to see that I have courage, power and self love to get me through the hard times and for a better understanding of what Depression truly is.  I am blessed and I am loved!

Christmas is Come

Oh My!  Found this in my drafts.  I went ahead and posted it without it being finished! (apparently I got busy)  I don't know how the rest of the story would have gone or where my mind was at that moment, but it's fun to speculate.






Christmas is come, hang on the pot,
Let spits turn round, and ovens be hot;
Beef, pork and poultry, now provide
To feast thy neighbors at this tide.

I love Christmas time!  Did I mention that I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME??  This may sound corny, but there truly is something magical about it.  For me, it is the excitement of the entire season.  The twinkling lights, the smells that are coming from my kitchen and the Christmas music that you never get tired of.  Especially Dean Martin!  I adore the whole formality of it all... setting a table, polishing silver and cooking for days! A family tradition that I hope to instill in my children. As I finish up my decorations, including my department 56 houses, I get a little sad and wonder if I truly 'get' the true meaning of Christmas.

Blessed Valentine's Day in Spite of...

Happy Valentine's Day to me!  So, to make a looooong story short... I ended up in the emergency room Tuesday morning for an obstruction in my small intestine.  I was admitted to the hospital for treatment and diagnosis and was there for four days, of which one was Valentine's Day.  While our family really doesn't celebrate the holiday... I generally will get the kids a little something and Phillip and I will go to dinner and, of course, the standard bouquet of red roses and card.  The morning of Valentine's Day around 7 a.m., I was surprised by a visit from my youngest son, Ahlden, with a beautiful bouquet of Pink roses ( my favorite) and a hug.  Man, I love that kid's sweet and thoughtful heart!  After he left, Phillip walked in with Red roses and a card. (yes, I know you want to laugh right now at the originality) .  Man, I love his consistent and thoughtful heart!   What really made me smile even bigger was when he asked where the pink roses came from?  He had no idea that Ahlden was going to do that or better yet, had influenced it.  That afternoon, Caitlin and Connor showed up with flowers, cards and hugs.  Caitlin's flowers were a spring bouquet that smelled like a spring garden in full bloom and were absolutely beautiful and my favorite scented candle, High Maintenance by Tyler Candles.  Man, I love her caring and thoughtful heart!  Connor's was a single red rose (still in the plastic) and was presented as if he had walked a mile barefooted in the snow to get it.  Now, If you know Connor, then you know that is his way of deflecting from the fact that he was doing something loving and kind.  Made me smile!  Man, I love his twisted and thoughtful heart! :-)    My day was complete! My Valentine's Day was truly special because my family went out of their way with busy schedules of work and school to make me feel special and loved. I am blessed, and in the midst of the pain and uncertainty of my condition, I was humbled and grateful to have the most important people in my life there that day with loving hearts!

{Living as becomes you} with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.             EPHESIANS 4:2

Ahlden shot this picture and put it on his Instagram titled

"My Valentine"

 

 

My Year

It's been several months since I have posted anything and it feels good to be back to the writing board!  We made it through the Holidays and there were great moments that I wish I would have shared and moments that were not noteworthy.  As the new year begins, several things are happening in my life that I would consider "stretches".  I am still volunteering at Cook's Hospital and I love being there with those kiddos.  Some days are harder than others, but I walk away with a heart full of hope and gratitude.  I started volunteering for Pathways at the corporate office on Friday's. Let's just say that my office skills are a little rusty, but I'm enjoying the atmosphere and the opportunity to learn new things.  I also started a bible study, the book of Esther.  Funny how that came about, but I know for sure that God is sitting back with a grin on His face.  Tennis is in full swing (no pun intended) ! :-)  I'm looking forward to 2013 and this will be the year that I find my JOY and PEACE, because I deserve it! 

Honor and majesty are found in His presence; strength and joy are found in His sanctuary.
1 Chronicles 16:27

A Thankful Heart

Father, please accept our thanks today as round this table here we pause to pray;  Our grateful hearts are warmed as we recall 'tis from Thy bounty that our blessings fall.  This gladsome feast with loved ones now to share is but a measure of Thy tender care.
                                                                                                          Eleanor Lyons Culver


What a wonderful Thanksgiving at the Klotz home.  Caitlin, Connor, Ahlden, Megan, Grandmother Barbara, Megan(my niece) and Rob (Megan's boyfriend) were all here to pass the 'thankful spoon" around the table.  There is never a dull moment when it comes to my family...the stories and 'sharings' at the table were very interesting and maddening at times, but we were together as a family and that is what counts.  Poor Grandmother Barbara never got a word in...she sat quietly and listened with an amazed look on her face at times. After dinner, the guys played pool and the girls painted their fingernails as we all watched The Grinch.   I made all of my grandmother's recipes and every year I still get a smile on my face as I remember Thanksgiving at my grandparent's home.  I always looked forward to the food and I couldn't wait to see all of my cousins, but more importantly... to see what table I would be sitting at that year.  The Shankle clan was such a large family and there would be at least 25 of us at any holiday feast.  There was a kiddy table, a teenager table, and of course, the Adult table.  I graduated every table to get to the Adult table and you would have thought that I had won the lottery when I finally got there. We were not a perfect family and certainly had our moments with each other, but we always came together during the holidays and made some wonderful and lasting memories.  I am thankful for those memories and blessed to have my own family to share the holidays with. 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Bittersweet

As my son, Ahlden, is getting ready to take his senior pictures, I keep thinking of how I have looked forward to this moment since he was a baby.  It's finally here and I'm wondering why this is more upsetting than joyful!  Well, of course, I know why!!!  I keep checking in on him as he is changing into his third outfit and I see a young man who has the world at his feet and has no idea that he does.   I would love for his future to be predictable and planned (less worry for me).  I think if we plan carefully and thoroughly enough, we should be secure. Right??  I read something the other day that said,"If we follow perfectly the itinerary of the trip, we miss out on the funny Italian vendor who sells us our favorite cerulean water pitcher.  If we never vary our routine, we may not get caught in the rain with the person who eventually becomes a close friend.   We miss out on life's richest experiences.  That popped into my head for some odd reason, but for the most part, I believe that to be true. I don't think the water pitcher would be a rich experience for him... but then again, you never know!   My hope for Ahlden is that he finds true happiness in whatever path he takes and that he never forgets how much I love him!

Kindergarten 

 

Senior

 

 

 

 

 



My Creed for Life

I believe that God created me to be happy, to enjoy the blessings of life, to be useful to my fellow-beings, and an honor to my family.

I believe that the trials which find me today are but the fiery tests by which my character is strengthened, ennobled and made worthy to enjoy the higher things of life, which I believe are in store for me.

I believe that my soul is too grand to be crushed by defeat; I will rise above it.

I believe that I am the architect of my own fate; therefore, I will be master of my circumstances and surroundings, not their slave.

I will not yield to discouragements, I will trample them under foot and make them serve as stepping-stones to success. I will conquer my obstacles and turn them into opportunities.


My failures of today will help to guide me on to victory for tomorrow.

Tomorrow will bring new strength, new hopes, new opportunities and new beginnings.  I will be ready to meet it with a brave heart, a calm mind and an undaunted spirit.

In all things I will do my best, and leave the rest to Infinite.

I will not waste my mental energies by useless worry.  I will learn to dominate my restless thoughts and look on the bright side of things.

I will face the world bravely, I will not be a coward.  I will assert my God-given birthright and be the woman God made me to be.  For I am immortal, and nothing can overcome me.